Everyone Needs Encouraging

Writing is not a middle-of-the-road kind of thing. Not many writers have so-so days. The writing day was either a wonderful/euphoric/I-rocked-word-count kind of day. Or it was exhausting/depressing/soul-grinding kind of day.

I’m not saying other jobs aren’t that way. (In fact, being a mom to a pack of small children is kind of like that—my oldest was five when my fourth child was born, so I guess I was well prepared for exhaustion.) In any case, I think one of the hardest things about writing is the emotional toll. In a new book I’m working on, I do something I’ve never done before—writing from the antagonist’s point of view as well as the protagonist’s. And, I’m writing the antagonist’s POV in first person. In a very real sense, I become this horrible woman. Her wretchedness clings to me. I even feel her guilt (okay, I feel the guilt she should be feeling, but isn’t) knowing how many lives her selfishness will destroy. When I finish her scenes, I need a bath to wash off the filth.

It’s enough to make you really discouraged. But, because I have amazing writing buddies, when I whine about the novel, they say things like “Wow. If you feel that bad, you must really be rocking the story. I can’t wait to read it.” And just like that my I-just-descended-into-the-depths-of-depravity depression becomes a good thing. And my day turns from soul-grinding to euphoric. Everyone needs encouragers.

First or Third Person Point of View

Recently, I received the Enchanting Entertainer Award from Deirdra Eden of A Storybook World. Thanks so much, Deirdra!!

Lately, life has been utter chaos. We had a sewer pipe explode in the basement. And, yes, it was every bit as heinous as you can imagine. The plumbers fixed the pipe, but they don't clean up the mess.

And I'm in the midst of sewing Shakespeare costumes for Claudio (my son Matthew) and Benedick (my son Jacob) for Much Ado About Nothing. I'm also trying to finish editing a new novel and short story. So, you know, I'm kinda busy. But in the midst of all that, I started a new novel.

I couldn't help myself. The story had been teasing me for over a year. But I'd never been able to pin it down. I couldn't figure out which of the characters would tell the story, etc. Then one day, the final scene came to me and then everything fell into place. So I started writing.

But it didn't feel right. I've spent the last couple of days, mulling what's wrong. I think I've nailed it. Thus far, the story is in first person. But I think it should be written in third.

I'd planned on writing it in third. But then, I thought that the immediacy of first person would be better. And I suspected that maybe I wanted to write it in third person only because I wanted a bit of distance between the main character and myself. I thought I was choosing third only because I wanted to separate a tiny bit of myself from the main character's pain.

So I decided that writing in first person would be the "brave thing to do." I felt noble. And I wrote. Then, I read what I wrote. It wasn't right. Now I'm trying to decide if it's simply because it's a first draft, and, well, first drafts suck. Or, maybe it's because it needs to be written in close third. In my head, the story feels like third person. When I touch the story with my mind, it has the feel of third--it feels like a smooth like marble. When I feel it in first person, it feels rough. (Have I just lost everyone with my talk of "touching the story with my mind?" Please tell me that I'm not the only one who experiences stories this way.)

My goal this afternoon (while I'm sitting during Matt's piano lesson) is to rewrite the opening scene in third person. To see if the smoothness is there. To see if the story feels right. I'll let you know what happens.

And I'd love to hear how other writers chose whether to write in first person or third. And I'd really love to know if other writers "touch" their stories with their minds.